40 Fantastic things about Delhi & Delhiites

Being a Delhiite (any person who belongs to New Delhi, India) there are soooo many things we see and experience every day that are actually outside the ordinary. Interestingly, some of those things we have actually fallen into a habit of seeing or even doing without giving it much thought and it certainly doesn’t strike us as odd. But, then along comes an email like the one I got today called: 40 fantastic things about Dilli (that’s how you pronounce Delhi in Hindi) and you realize “Holy Crap! That shit is so true” 🙂 I actually admire the man/woman who took the time out to write down these quirky little things that only Dilli-wallas (again people from New Delhi India) can relate to.

Read for yourself and if you are from Delhi or know somebody from Delhi, then you know this is true! Read and enjoy and thank you to the perceptive and observant person who put this list together.

40 Fantastic things about saddi Dilli (our Delhi)

You know you are from Delhi when…..

  1. You drink alcohol only on Monday, Wednesday , and Thurday to Sunday evenings. And try not to drink on Tuesday.
  2. Treating a friend means – Daaru Shaaru te kabbab shabaab. (Booze and Kebabs)
  3. Even in the most posh colonies, you hear, “Aaloo lelo !!!, Bhindi le lo !!!! Pyaaz le lo !!!!, Tamatar le lo……” (Potatoes for sale, Okra for sale, Onions for sale and tomatoes for sale)
  4. And you hear women asking the vegetable vendor “Bhaiyaa dhaniya hari mirchi nahi diya!” [Even with Half a kilo Carrot – Dhania & Hari Mirch (coriander and green chillies) is expected to be free ] 😉
  5. A place to meet is Mocha, (CCD), Barista, Hookah.
  6. You use the word “setting” or “jugaad” at-least once a day. (Jugaad:  a colloquial Hindi word that can mean an innovative fix or a simple work-around)
  7. You have not visited either of – Qutub Minar, Red Fort, Lotus Temple. That’s only for tourists, so Delhiites say.
  8. You ride on the cycle rickshaw in NOIDA (more populary known as NEODA) – haggle over the price, but still pity rickshaw walla’s condition and give him what he asked.
  9. You glare at people who call Gol Gappas as Pani Puri!
  10. You always ask the vendor “Bhaiya yeh Gol-Gappe Aate ki hai ya Sooji ke?” (Are the Gol gappas made of flour or semolina?)
  11. Schools are the best is Delhi not because of CBSE, but because you’ve had school cancelled thrice due to cold in winters & summer vacations preponed due to sudden increase heat in Summers and at least two Rainy Day off during Monsoon.
  12. You have been to a wedding at a Mehrauli farmhouse at least once.
  13. You understand all important words in Punjabi & Punjabi “helping verbs” like teri maa di, teri bahen di… oye madar @#$% … oye bahen @#$$. Almost every Delhiite understands Punjabi to an extent. PUNJABI unites everyone.
  14. You call the waiter in the restaurant “boss” or “Pappey” & tack on “yaar” “bhai” to almost every sentence.
  15. You know that Pappay Da Dhaba or Kake Da Hotel has better butter chicken than Taj. You’ve at least tried it once! And you see a BMW, a Porsche OR a Mercedes parked outside it!
  16. You describe practically every other person on the planet as “Vella”. (‘Idle’ or Nikamma in Punjabi).
  17. You see middle-aged Aunties wearing Gucci shades and holding LV bags having Gol-Gappas in GK or Bhelpuri in South Ex along with Diet Coke !
  18. You call every stranger ‘Bhaiyya’.
  19. You refer to East Delhi as ‘Jamuna Paar’.
  20. You refer to AIIMS as Medical.
  21. Pretty girls as Totta, Maal or Bamb (Punjabi for Bomb).
  22. Aashiq mizaz boys as Majnu di Aulad !
  23. You dont buy tickets for a music concert or cricket match, but try to use political contacts… of the deputy secretary of the chief secretary of the Minister of State for Khadi.
  24. You overtake everyone from the wrong side and stare into his/her eyes while doing so.
  25. You have at least two cars and a motorbike at home.
  26. And you have fought at least once every month with neighbors over parking…
  27. You park your Car and take a Auto-rickshaw to Lajpat Nagar / Rajouri/ Kamla Nagar/ Karol Bagh. But CP, you don’t get parking space easily, yet you go always in your own vehicle.
  28. And then you say apni Kanvense (conveyance) howe na ta badi Kanvinyance (convenience) hondi hai ji !!!!!
  29. You have bribed a traffic cop (Mama) at least once.
  30. You know that a farmhouse has nothing to do with cattle or farming. It is luxurious hangout for whole night.
  31. You use “contacts” (jugaad) for everything, from getting movie tickets to restaurant bookings to play-school admissions.
  32. You have had Anda parantha outside Vikram hotel and Bun Omlette at Dhaula Kuan, Kulfi at Karol Bagh, Gol Gappe at India Gate, Dosa at Madras Hotel, Chana/Kulcha at Scindia House and Chaat at UPSC.
  33. Metro rail is your Pride but you travel in your Car.
  34. You think going the mall for shopping is equivalent to walking the ramp at Milan fashion week. You break out all the labels, because when else will you use your Prada, Dior and Louis Vuitton bags?
  35. You feel indicating which way you are going to turn your vehicle is an information security leak.
  36. You are a good driver coz you are correct in your guess of what the driver in the front vehicle will do.
  37. The only time you went to the Chidiya Ghar (Zoo) was on a school picnic.
  38. You expect around 10 FM STATIONS in every city! Woho.!
  39. DESPITE all the good and bad……..You still Love Delhi…
  40. You keep singing ….. Dilli hai Dil Walon ki….. Oye Balle Balle !!!

 

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A day in the life of a marketing executive.

If you work in marketing (and I know that you do);

then you will know that I am being very very true.

The life of a ‘marketer’ (as I like to call myself),

is absolutely, (and I mean truly) off the shelf! 🙂

I know I sound cheesy with all these short lines,

It’s all the more worse ‘coz every other 1 rhymes.

So getting back to what I was originally saying,

That the life of a marketer is worth craving.

There’s so much running around that you don’t have to exercise,

There’s so much creativity that you can’t help but sigh! :-S

The best part about marketing is the secret inside

that marketers, never casually take things in their stride

They seriously listen and ponder, to understand your ways

But beware, because for mean-ness they’ll make you pay.

Whatever your designation, you’re just some glorified fire fighter,

You can be President of Marketing but you will still be called a marketer.

I just realized how this is not just about a single day,

this entire poem is about marketers everywhere.

Marketing execs as people like to call them,

you can love ’em, you can hate ’em, but honey you just can’t ignore ’em.

They are flashy but harassed and annoyingly accurate,

you can wrangle them, push them but boy are they sarcastic.

We are moody, sometimes shady and but we are always so right

We are efficient, intelligent and never out of sight.

My job of a marketer, may not be as big,

may not be as fancy as VP or Country Head.

That’s the thing about marketing, it’s so wonderful,

that without me your business would just fall and crumble.

Who would do your branding, your promotion and your stage

that needs to be set up to make you look great.

So, next time you forget it, I’ll say it out loud,

think about it before you boss a marketing executive around.

Road to modern marketing

Road to modern marketing

My birthday- My Big Day!

Truly! Celebrating Birthdays is an art. I’d like to think it’s an acquired skill. If I was to think otherwise, I’d be depressed in life because I would have to come to terms with the fact that I most certainly don’t have that skill. 😦

My birthday is the single most exciting day of my life. Whenever I have kids, I probably won’t be as excited for their birthdays as I’ll still be for my own. My parents used to make such a big deal out of my birthday. There wasn’t always a big party or a huge cake, but there was always Chocolate cake, my favorite breakfast- pancakes, my favorite dinner- mac and cheese with grilled chicken & mashed potatoes on the side and presents. Lots and lots of presents.  Those were some of my best birthdays. I don’t want to sound completely hopeless, as if all my birthdays were disastrous. I have had some pretty fantastic birthdays in my childhood and some in my adult life as well you know. But they were all unplanned (atleast I hadn’t planned it).

My mother would go to all the trouble for my yummy dinner, my dad would smother me with kisses and tell everybody how he always gets confused about whether my birthday is August 16th or August 17th, and I used to get offended every year. The truth is, he was just kidding. There’s no way in hell he could get confused over my birthday and I knew it, he knew it, the whole world knew it, but it never stopped him from joking about it. 🙂

This tremendous amount of expectation I have from my birthdays mostly comes from my childhood, when my dad used to take special pride in reminding me of how special my birthday is. I mean he never even referred to my birthday as “Birthday”. He talked of it, like it was a National holiday- you know like the 4th of July? My dad would call my birthday “the 17th of August”. 😀

He would start reminding me of it a months in advance, to the extent of asking mundane questions like “Honey, when is the 17th of August?” I mean come on dad! But I’m smiling right now as I write this, it was so obvious and was a “Duh!” moment most of the time, but I still smiled, I still got excited. My dad passed away a month before my 21st birthday but even today, I can hear him say “Darling, 17th August is almost here” 🙂

Ever since I was 13 I’d plan and plan for my birthday, sometimes, months in advance, sometimes even an year in advance, and then at the end of the “Big Day” I always feel like it was a let down. I wonder how it can possibly be the most planned day but end up being the single most disappointing day ever, even more than New Year’s Eve. Perhaps in the case of my birthdays, anticipation is inversely proportional to success of the birthday. Back in the day when my parents used to plan my birthday parties, I remember everything would be exactly the way you wanted it to be, the guests would be as per your choosing, the food would be as per your liking, the decorations would be as per your approval, even then, there would be something that embarrassed me and taint the memory of the party for.

How do some people manage to get it so right? They don’t plan, they don’t even care, but it all magically works out. They get the best presents, the funniest wishes and it’s a completely fantastic day in total! I think, I have literally, written enough to make myself sad. I manage to plan all these fantastic things for my husband’s birthday, family members’ birthdays, friends’s birthdays, and execute them perfectly but my own…? 😦

My birthday is coming up in exactly a week, and this year, I decided NOT to plan. No party, no cake, no friends or presents…nada nada nada!!!!

I am going to go with the flow. I will keep no expectations from the day and the day will not disappoint me. Even though, I know in the deepest corner of my heart, that birthdays haven’t been the same since my dad died. So, whatever happens, I will always be disappointed that my dad’s not there to share my big special day with me like he used to.

This year, my dad decided to make me feel special from beyond the grave. I haven’t had the courage to go through his belongings since he died, but I did this year- 6 years after he died. I found a note from my dad. It was scribbled in a notepad hidden in his belongings. It was addressed to me and it was so wonderful and symbolic. I had it framed and hung it on my bedroom wall. It’s my dad’s birthday gift to me, makes up for the 6 birthdays he has missed.

Thanks Dad, and a Happy Birthday to Me! 😀

My dad's birthday note to me, 6 years after his passing.

My dad’s birthday note to me, 6 years after his passing.

 

The actual text of my dad's note

The actual text of my dad’s note

 

My 3rd Birthday, August/17/1989, Vancouver BC, Canada

My 3rd Birthday, August/17/1989, Vancouver BC, Canada