The uncredited sisters

Sometimes in life you come across people who are as different from you as night and day yet you connect in the most inexplicable way. There literally seems to be a string from your heart to theirs and that’s just amazing.

Some women in my life have that connection with me. I call them my friends but they truly are my sisters. Each and everyone of them has, at some point of time in life held my hand, wiped my tears and reassured me that it’s going to be alright and told me just what I wanted to hear, “Hey! Life sucks… and that’s a fact! Forget it and lets go have some fun“. Some of these women I have known for over a decade, some just a few weeks, but all of them are special and close to my heart.

I cannot truly say that men experience this feeling of sisterhood and solidarity the way women feel it, but if they could, would they view women differently? I always thought my blood and biological sister was the only one I would ever have and that was just the end of it. But I realised, quite later that you don’t need to be related by blood to be sisters and brothers, you can be sisters of the heart, the soul and the mind.

Every time something wonderful happens and you bow down and give credit to your family: your parents, your siblings, your elder grandma & grandpa, your husband and your kids and so on. How often do you give credit to your friends? And if you feel such a strong bond with some people, enough that you wonder if you have that kind of bond with people you share your blood with, then why don’t they get the same credit? Even when you know, some of those women are truly and honestly your sisters, in the actual sense of the word?

I say, “Bah! Humbug!” to all these silly notions and rules and everything in between. For me: my sisters are my sisters, blood or not I love you the same. You are by my side, never to leave me and as I have realised it is quite true that “In the cookies of life, sisters are the chocolate chips“. (Author Unknown)

So my dear darling beautiful chocolate chips, I dedicate this beautiful poem to you all, which sums up aptly what I feel.

From one sister to another: “I carry your heart with me” By E.E.Cummings

I carry your heart with me (I carry it in my heart)
I am never without it
Anywhere I go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling
I fear no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet)
I want no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant,
and whatever a sun will always sing is you.
Here is the deepest secret nobody knows,
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart.
i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart).
TO MY BLOOD AND BIOLOGICAL SISTER I SAY: “Some sisters only see each other on Mother’s Day and some never see each other their whole lives and even some who will never speak again.  But no sisterhood is like yours and mine… linked by volatile love, best friends who make other best friends ever so jealous” (Patricia Volk)

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My mommy-My hero

So, I realise I haven’t blogged in a while but here’s the thing, with work and a commute of over 2 hours (everyday- ONE WAY) and a complete home to take care of (including cooking) with no help whatsoever, can be tough!!! phewwww…! 🙂

And nothing gets better when on top of it all you have the flu. Your nose feels like its gonna fall off because it’s so raw from the constant wiping. You feel like your body is heavier than lead and you have a 2 year pounding on a drum inside your head. Uggggghhh!!!

Falling sick is the worst thing that can happen to anybody, especially me. Why? you ask? I guess it’s because I can’t feel as sorry for anybody else as I do for myself now, can I? 🙂

I was so unwell last week that I could barely get out of bed. But, my husband dropped me off at my mommy’s for some serious TLC.

Whether you are 5 years old or 50…. I honestly think that whenever you are sick all you can think of is your mom.

I don’t know about anybody else, but whenever I am sick I crave for my mother’s hands, stroking my hair like she used to whenever I used to fall sick as a child. My mom pouring me a hot bowl of soup, fluffing my pillows, tucking me in…. Aaah! The works. 🙂

A mother’s love is a mother’s love and nothing can stand up to it, not even you-oh flu virus..!

When I was younger, I used to fake being sick on school days (as I am sure everybody has done so when they were children). Atleast I used to try. My mom would never buy into my bluff and would always say “go to school, and if you start feeling sick, come back home”. Disappointing as it was, I’d still go to school because you see my true motive was not to avoid school (although that was an added bonus) it was to get my mom to stay home with me. 🙂
And funny as it is ironic, I know for a fact, that’s exactly what I’ll be saying to my kids when they try to fake being sick on school days 🙂

It wasn’t the “quality time” we would spend together, it was just the idea of knowing she is at home because between my teenaged sister and me and my dad (who, by the way my mother claims, was no less than a 5 year old child, when at home) and a full time job, I used to think my mom doesn’t have any time dedicated especially to me. But I realise now how much time she actually did dedicate to me. She took years off from a full time career to be with me, she tucked me into bed every night, said my prayers with me, made me delicious food whenever I wanted it, irrespective of how tired she was, and how she sacrificed sleep, food, comfort, basically everything to sit next to me when I was in the hospital for an appendectomy.
She was unwell herself but she did not move from my bedside. She wouldn’t eat but she would make sure I am well fed, she wouldn’t sleep but she would make sure I got several hours of sleep.
Even today, she manages to take care of me even though we don’t live together anymore. I have a home of my own now and I am the “go to for anything” person in my house, I am the one who “takes care of everybody” but my mommy, still takes care of me.

My husband and I continue to be amazed and surprised at the amount of energy, enthusiasm and quiet strength that lies within her.

We appreciate you Mom, we love you and we inspire to be like you-more and more each day- My mommy, my hero! 🙂

Have you thought of all the things your mother has done for you in the past? Or continues to do even today?

Take some time off, call your mom and tell her you love her. She may know it, but would be so nice for her to hear it, out of the blue, randomly, because she did and she does all that she does for you because of those 3 words.

Thanks for reading everybody, and don’t forget to tell your mom, how much you love her. That’s what I do, everyday! 🙂

To be or not to be….My frenemy!

Quite often we come across people we just don’t like. Maybe, a colleague, or a relative, or somebody who provides an essential service, like the maid perhaps? or the dry cleaner?

You cannot deny that there are such people in your life. However hard you try, these people just don’t make it to your “Favorite people” list. And 90% of the time you don’t really have any option but to put up with them. So what do you do when you come face to face with a person like that? Do you look the other way? Do you gulp everything you’re dying to say or do you actually go ahead an say it, fully aware that the person on the receiving end needs to deal with you, as much as you need to deal with them?

All that aside, then there is the case of frenemies. 😀

A lot of women, tend to refer to other women in their circles as “frenemies“. Ever wondered where the term frenemies really came from?? You have a friend. You call that person a friend because (and I’m referring to a woman’s perspective ONLY) you really can’t call her anything else and she is nice to you and even polite, but she is more than willing to turn around and stab you in the back at the blink of an eye. But the chances of that happening are more likely none, because she’s friends with you for a reason- either you’re in the same circle of friends, or you share a class or you both need each other to help finish the ugly project you have to submit for midterms, or better yet- she is the girl your brother is dating.

That’s my favorite one! Your brother calls you both his special girls, and he assumes you will get along fabulously because you have him in common and which 2 unrelated women in the world, did NOT get along when their connection was a man they both would kill for???? Men are weird like that. They don’t really understand the complexities of female relationships, and I don’t blame them. Even women sometimes cannot understand the complexities of their own relationships with other women. 🙂

So, how do frenemies behave with each other? I haven’t come up with a term for the behavior yet, but I will soon.

Till I come up with said term, I’d like to call it sweet sarcasm.

My husband (Mukul) enjoys doing his own version of sweet sarcasm to people he doesn’t really like and it can be extremely funny, when you’re viewing it from a third party perspective. He doesn’t have any ‘frenemies‘ per se, so he just does it to people he has no option but to deal with, but he won’t let them take him down by being over the top nice either. That’s Mukul for you! 🙂

So here is what Mukul does: He smiles, shrugs and says all that he wants to. If it’s somebody who is related to us through blood or marriage: Mukul puts his palms together, bows his head in respect and then says what he wants.

Putting your palms together is a sign of respect in most south Asian countries. So, by doing that Mukul shows them (relatives) respect, which kind of seals their lips because the physical gesture of showing respect outweighs the words, in that one moment. Also, he does everything simultaneously, which confuses a lot of people and they don’t have as much time to formulate an appropriate reply in their head. Personally, I think that is fantastic!!!!

It’s an acquired skill, and I am yet to acquire it 🙂

Sweet sarcasm or not, you gotta deal with your so called frenemies, or whatever version of frenemies you have. How I like to deal with it is to smile away to glory and keep looking at that person, they know what your thinking, they know you can take them down, and most of all, they know they can’t do without you.

But then again, can you?

In conclusion, I think we all need a frenemy or 2 in our lives, especially women.

Come on girls, can you honestly say our conversations are just as lively if we are NOT bashing our frenemies?? 🙂

When women meet other women they always ask themselves this question in their heads (Probably ask it out loud in sororities):

Hmmmm….To be or not to be? My frenemy?

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