Ten pick up lines you should never ever try

So, recently I applied for this fantastic writing opportunity in a very popular and cool place. Even though I cannot disclose the minute details, I can tell you that they are the most socially updated, and most prominently upcoming retail company India has seen in a while. I like their stuff, their style and so on.

Anyhu, they asked me to write an article on “10 pick up lines you should not even try” based on my experiences and, so I got to writing. When I started writing, I was surprised that it didn’t take me very long to come up with 10 cheesy pick up lines 🙂

If I wanted to be called a liar by everybody I’d say- “Pick up lines are boring.” But, the truth my dear Watson, is that lame, cheesy pick up lines entertain, like nothing else. They make you roll your eyes, sometimes in mock frustration and sometimes in REAL frustration, but all in all, it never fails to provide a laugh. OK!!! If you’re in a bad mood then maybe a smile. So, from my source of entertainment, here’s a list of 10 pick up lines, men should never try. 🙂

#10  “Hi there! I saw you from across the bar & thought, why don’t I brighten her day by having a conversation with her?”

Recognize the fine line between confidence and arrogance. If you’re confident, it’s attractive, but you are NOT God’s gift to women – if you were, you wouldn’t need to use a pick up line!!

#9 “Hey! I saw you, and I just knew that the Universe didn’t bring me here for nothing. It brought me here so I could meet you.”

Seriously? Have you considered, that the universe probably brought you here to get beaten up for using such a ludicrous line??

 #8 “I feel like I’ve seen you somewhere. Oh wait! In my dreams last night”

I’ve heard some pretty lame one-liners. But, with this line I couldn’t even bring myself to laugh. If you could roll your eyes as far back as I did, they would get stuck in your head.

#7  “I like my drinks and my women fiery. I have this baby {gestures drink} in my hand and all I’m waiting for…. is you.”

Fiery? Let me spice you up with a black eye and chilli powder up your keister.

#6  “What are we going to do about this obvious chemistry between us? I mean, I got pulled all the way from the other side of the bar”

I laughed, pulled my gay friend in front of me and said “I think your chemistry maybe with him. Let me get out of the way”

#5 “You look like my next girlfriend”

My (then) fiancé (now husband-Mukul) saved him from me by saying “Yeah? I kinda think she looks like my wife”

#4 “You know a lot of celebrities use dance to work out. How about you and I work out together?”

OK! First of all, do you think I’m fat? And I should be impressed? How?

#3  “I was thinking- You’re hot, I’m hot, let’s have dinner and see how it goes”

This happened to my friend and me in NYC. My friend turned her back to him and he looked at me and said “How bout you senorita?” Persistent li’l fella!

 #2 “I have to say, I love everything Indian, & when I saw you I knew I was in love, so I figured you must be Indian.”

If you love everything Indian, how come you don’t live in India?

#1 worst pick up line used on me: “You should be someone’s wife. How about mine?”– WHAAAAAAAT? He jumped right to getting married!!! He reeked of desperation and I actually spilled my cocktail on my skirt while laughing

So that’s my list, but I am calling out to all you lovely ladies to share the worst pick up lines used on you, and to make it dramatic, here’s a poetic invitation:

If you girls have a new one to share,

Shiny, unused and a breath of fresh air,

Don’t hide it up your sleeve or in your collar,

I’d really love it if you’d just holler!

 

Don’t forget, be social and share share share!

nutty+cheesy

nutty+cheesy

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A day in the life of a marketing executive.

If you work in marketing (and I know that you do);

then you will know that I am being very very true.

The life of a ‘marketer’ (as I like to call myself),

is absolutely, (and I mean truly) off the shelf! 🙂

I know I sound cheesy with all these short lines,

It’s all the more worse ‘coz every other 1 rhymes.

So getting back to what I was originally saying,

That the life of a marketer is worth craving.

There’s so much running around that you don’t have to exercise,

There’s so much creativity that you can’t help but sigh! :-S

The best part about marketing is the secret inside

that marketers, never casually take things in their stride

They seriously listen and ponder, to understand your ways

But beware, because for mean-ness they’ll make you pay.

Whatever your designation, you’re just some glorified fire fighter,

You can be President of Marketing but you will still be called a marketer.

I just realized how this is not just about a single day,

this entire poem is about marketers everywhere.

Marketing execs as people like to call them,

you can love ’em, you can hate ’em, but honey you just can’t ignore ’em.

They are flashy but harassed and annoyingly accurate,

you can wrangle them, push them but boy are they sarcastic.

We are moody, sometimes shady and but we are always so right

We are efficient, intelligent and never out of sight.

My job of a marketer, may not be as big,

may not be as fancy as VP or Country Head.

That’s the thing about marketing, it’s so wonderful,

that without me your business would just fall and crumble.

Who would do your branding, your promotion and your stage

that needs to be set up to make you look great.

So, next time you forget it, I’ll say it out loud,

think about it before you boss a marketing executive around.

Road to modern marketing

Road to modern marketing

To be or not to be….My frenemy!

Quite often we come across people we just don’t like. Maybe, a colleague, or a relative, or somebody who provides an essential service, like the maid perhaps? or the dry cleaner?

You cannot deny that there are such people in your life. However hard you try, these people just don’t make it to your “Favorite people” list. And 90% of the time you don’t really have any option but to put up with them. So what do you do when you come face to face with a person like that? Do you look the other way? Do you gulp everything you’re dying to say or do you actually go ahead an say it, fully aware that the person on the receiving end needs to deal with you, as much as you need to deal with them?

All that aside, then there is the case of frenemies. 😀

A lot of women, tend to refer to other women in their circles as “frenemies“. Ever wondered where the term frenemies really came from?? You have a friend. You call that person a friend because (and I’m referring to a woman’s perspective ONLY) you really can’t call her anything else and she is nice to you and even polite, but she is more than willing to turn around and stab you in the back at the blink of an eye. But the chances of that happening are more likely none, because she’s friends with you for a reason- either you’re in the same circle of friends, or you share a class or you both need each other to help finish the ugly project you have to submit for midterms, or better yet- she is the girl your brother is dating.

That’s my favorite one! Your brother calls you both his special girls, and he assumes you will get along fabulously because you have him in common and which 2 unrelated women in the world, did NOT get along when their connection was a man they both would kill for???? Men are weird like that. They don’t really understand the complexities of female relationships, and I don’t blame them. Even women sometimes cannot understand the complexities of their own relationships with other women. 🙂

So, how do frenemies behave with each other? I haven’t come up with a term for the behavior yet, but I will soon.

Till I come up with said term, I’d like to call it sweet sarcasm.

My husband (Mukul) enjoys doing his own version of sweet sarcasm to people he doesn’t really like and it can be extremely funny, when you’re viewing it from a third party perspective. He doesn’t have any ‘frenemies‘ per se, so he just does it to people he has no option but to deal with, but he won’t let them take him down by being over the top nice either. That’s Mukul for you! 🙂

So here is what Mukul does: He smiles, shrugs and says all that he wants to. If it’s somebody who is related to us through blood or marriage: Mukul puts his palms together, bows his head in respect and then says what he wants.

Putting your palms together is a sign of respect in most south Asian countries. So, by doing that Mukul shows them (relatives) respect, which kind of seals their lips because the physical gesture of showing respect outweighs the words, in that one moment. Also, he does everything simultaneously, which confuses a lot of people and they don’t have as much time to formulate an appropriate reply in their head. Personally, I think that is fantastic!!!!

It’s an acquired skill, and I am yet to acquire it 🙂

Sweet sarcasm or not, you gotta deal with your so called frenemies, or whatever version of frenemies you have. How I like to deal with it is to smile away to glory and keep looking at that person, they know what your thinking, they know you can take them down, and most of all, they know they can’t do without you.

But then again, can you?

In conclusion, I think we all need a frenemy or 2 in our lives, especially women.

Come on girls, can you honestly say our conversations are just as lively if we are NOT bashing our frenemies?? 🙂

When women meet other women they always ask themselves this question in their heads (Probably ask it out loud in sororities):

Hmmmm….To be or not to be? My frenemy?

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