In pursuit of a Prince (Chapter 1)

Ever since she could remember, she always figured her husband would be like one of those guys you see in American movies. Charming, suave, well spoken, well groomed, tall. Handsome wasn’t necessarily on the list but well-groomed, well-spoken and charming trumps good looking any day. She’d daydream about him brewing coffee in the morning; making breakfast on weekends, even cooking on weekdays sometimes. An Indian girl’s American dream! Oh wow! More than anything else, it was the cooking she really looked forward to. It wasn’t as if she was a bad cook or an inexperienced one, quite the contrary but she just liked the idea of being cooked for. A dream of sorts for her, we could say. So she dreamed and dreamed and dreamed about her perfect man and his amazing cooking skills or atleast the idea of him. After all, a girl can dream, can’t she?

As it is in all Indian households, when she was old enough (atleast by their perception) to get married, her parents began looking for alliances. They weren’t closed minded people, oh no they most certainly were not! They, in fact kept asking her if she had a special someone in her life. She kept responding “No yet”. She said she was waiting..waiting for ‘The One’. She told them that she wasn’t going to go looking for him but she would sit back and let him find her. She was convinced that match making activities and online marriage portals wont lead her to him. He was going to carve the path that would lead to her. She had convinced herself that this was how it was meant to be. But you can’t really explain concepts such as these to Indian parents, can you? So what do you do? You give in and you hope that they inadvertently end up creating the bridge that will lead Him to find you.

Being caring and loving parents that they were they listened to her entire monologue on finding The One. They contemplated and subsequently confirmed that she did in fact want to get married, but her reassurances just confused them more. But she said, she wanted somebody who could cook. Parents being parents, they didn’t think it was as critical a criterion while selecting a possible husband for their precious darling. And I mean come on! What are you even supposed to say? “Our daughter won’t marry you unless you cook?” That would just sound like our daughter can’t cook. People will just think we didn’t teach her anything. She will come across as spoilt. We can’t risk that! Oh no no no!

So they searched and they met and they introduced their darling to several lovely boys, but she didn’t show too much interest. She returned from each meeting with a new deal breaker every time. The first one was too obsessed with his work; the next one was too obsessed with his looks. The third one seemed to love boys more than girls, and the fourth one smelt funny. The fifth, sixth and seventh were either too educated, too laidback or still connected to his parents with an umbilical cord of sorts. No! No! No! This was not working and she did not want to do it anymore. None of them were right and none of them were Mr.Right. The one she was looking for was just lost, needle in a haystack…you think? Her parents thought it best for her to find somebody on her own. Disappointment turned into sadness and soon depression, and bordered on thoughts like maybe she was being way too picky than was acceptable, maybe she didn’t know what it meant to recognize somebody for their inner beauty? Maybe she didn’t even know what went into deciding what was right for her in terms of a partner? Nobody trained her on the art of selecting a life partner, so how could she possibly be expected to know? There needs to be a rule book on things like this!! Ugh..!! But even amongst all these depressing thoughts, there was one underlining feeling, actually more of a faith now that you think of it. Faith that made her believe, that she was going to find him. He’s literally right around the corner, and when she finally meets him, she’ll recognize him for who he is: The One.

To be continued…

 

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Feeling jealous?

We suffer from an incurable disease called jealousy and oddly and inexplicably, it is always attributed to women. The feeling is mutual between men & women. You’d find of course very few to none (in case of men) admit to their jealousies; petty or major. Yet, I choose not to accept that jealousy is a feminine trait and men don’t care for things like this. But then again 80% of men believe Kratos (War of God) is their best friend and that Jimmy Choo is the name of their Japanese neighbor. I think a guy would in fact consider another man’s long hair a good enough reason to make fun of, (claiming it makes him look like a woman) than admit that they are jealous of the fact that women like the long hair. Isn’t that jealousy? In its purest form?

Women, contrary to popular belief are rarely jealous. They are in fact envious. There is a clear difference between jealousy and envy. Envy is mostly derived from a sense of low self esteem that sometimes results from an upward social comparison threatening a person’s self image. The other person has something that you may consider important to have or important to raise your social position.

In proper usage, jealousy is the fear of losing something one may possess to another person (including a loved one) while envy is merely the frustration or pain of not having something that someone else has. I would say envy is mostly wistful. Both envy and jealousy are distinct emotional experiences. Even so, it is envy that is one of the seven deadly sins. 🙂

The human mind is a complex thing, and I agree with one of my friends’ when she says it is also a matter of extreme interest. How is it that some things sway some people, but at the same time others don’t really give a damn about it? How is it that to one man it may be worth the world but to another its just trash?

Somebody once told me to kill the green-eyed monster would be the biggest achievement of a man’s life. This ugly monster ruins lives. Yes, a positive, though somewhat unrealistic, approach to it would be to learn from it and understand it. Apparently jealousy is easy to overcome once you understand what it’s teaching you- did you know that? People would spend money on breast implants or plastic surgery yet they would not bother spending a tiny amount of time to treat their jealousy. I mean, once you accept it as a problem, isn’t a serious psychological situation such as jealousy worth treating, before getting body enhancements? Just goes to show how people can’t really prioritize things.

A friend of mine once sent me a text message that said, “people are wasting so much money and time on breast implants and Viagra but nobody is bothering to spend time, money and energy on Alzheimer’s. Soon women would have huge knockers and men would have huge erections but they just won’t remember what its for” 🙂

Just goes to say we are not dealing with the right problems. I don’t mean everybody but those with a serious problem at least.

Everybody has that one friend, who has bad, almost terrible taste in men and but still ends up dating the most jealous guy, in a 50 mile radius. Its like they hand pick these men! We all know how jealousy can ruin a perfectly healthy relationship. How a nice person becomes this ugly monster out to ruin himself/herself and everybody else along the way. We read it in books, see it in movies and every soap opera in the world has this angle worked into its story.

I will not deny that women don’t get jealous, but her techniques of dealing with the situation are so much subtler. Of all the crazy women situations, I have never once heard of her having a catfight merely on the basis of an assumption. Jealous or not, I do believe women have a natural tendency to give men the benefit of the doubt.

It all comes down to the fact that as a girl I would see another girl with the most beautiful pair of gold Manolo Blahnik slingbacks and I would sigh and wish I had them. Good for her!!! She has that pair but I wish I did too. A boy of course would see somebody wearing a pair of Air Jordan and would consider it a display of wealth. Aah! Men! Go figure them and then they have the audacity to say we women get jealous easily. And we are hard to handle. Really? 🙂

jealousy