In Pursuit of a Prince: Chapter 2

Every girl dreams of finding that one perfect guy. The one who will love her beyond anything. He’ll be honest and caring and supportive and understanding and all those wonderful things. We are conditioned from an early age that that mystical magical man is out there somewhere in the world. A Sandra Bullock, Nicole Kidman movie I saw a long time back called Practical Magic had this exchange between two 10 year old sisters who have magical powers:

 Sally: ” He will hear my call a mile away. He will whistle my favorite song. He can ride a pony backwards.”

Gillian: What are you doing?

Sally: Summoning up a true love spell called Amas Veritas. ” He can flip pancakes in the air. He’ll be marvelously kind. And his favorite shape will be a star. And he’ll have one green eye and one blue.”

Isn’t it a lovely exchange? As young as 10, the girl knew exactly what her true love would be like. That is the power of love- or atleast the concept of it.

There are some, like Sally, who know exactly what they want, they have what you might call, a checklist that they’d like to stick to. No sidetracking and no compromises. But, then there are some who find a few qualities in a partner and tend to believe that the others qualities will follow, because you can acquire good qualities right? Or good habits? Or maybe he will another side, which will compensate for whatever he lacks in good qualities, but how often does that happen? Yet, there are those who just want to play it by the field, try a few permutations & combinations and see where that gets them. But the agenda is always the same, find “happily ever after”.

She belonged to the latter of the group. When she was a child she always imagined having a husband like her daddy, till she grew up and realised her daddy wasn’t really as good a person as she’d made him out to be. As she grew older and saw the world and met more and more interesting people she began to change her idea of the perfect partner. And in one of her travels she met him; the one she thought could complete her.

He was charming, sweet and shy. They fell in love very quickly and so madly at that. Soon they became inseparable and she trusted him with her heart and she was a girl after his own. But she always felt he wasn’t 100% with her, there was something holding him back. Something he didn’t want to share with her and she, instead of confronting him with it as she should have, continued to put her faith in him, till one day she was exposed to that little bit of him that he always held back. She watched as all her faith and love blew up in front of her eyes. He betrayed her beyond anything. He took away a little piece of her heart that day. It was never the same!

As the years went by. she kept meeting more and more men and realising each of them was even more imperfect than the last. Companionship became merely a physical need and the emotional requirement began to wither away. And then ‘he’ came along, a rough diamond in the muck! He was not her usual smooth talking, charms and handsome kinda boy. He was different from all the others she’d been with and she hated him at first, he was weird and spoke oddly and they had a huge language barrier which seemed un-breachable. He kept trying to get her attention, he kept trying to impress her in his uncouth way and she saw him doing all of that and she still ignored him. Why was he being weird? She continued to ignore him, and he eventually stopped because what good was it to keep chasing her when she clearly didn’t care? A few months went by and the thought of him made her smile,  all his little comical antics made her long for him. She decided to look him up. He had most of the qualities she wanted but the exterior was horribly unkempt and VASTLY different from her group of classy friends. She thought about how to go about it and realised grooming was in order.

But at the same time, she was unsure if she should go the extra mile to groom, what if she didn’t end up with him either? What if he wasn’t her “happily ever after’? I mean, when you meet somebody and sparks fly, in that moment, it feels like anything is possible. The adrenaline rush, the surge in happiness and the general need to burst into song, all sounds and feels so magical that you almost want to cry.

Once that initial magic begins to wear off, the flaws start making themselves obvious. Habits, friends, priorities, finances and general ideas and opinions begin to puncture, not unlike pins. It’s all downhill from there! An obvious question at this point will be: if that’s how all relationships go, then what is the secret of the ones that survive?

The secret of those happy couples is that, they overcome those low points. They choose to go past those flaws, they decide to work through it together. It’s never giving up that differentiates a good relationship from the ones that didn’t survive. It’s really the will to go on. But often times the fine line between wanting to make it work and have ‘no option but’ to make it work becomes blurry. She feared, she’d invest all her time, love and effort into something which had a 50% chance of not working out. And if it didn’t, would she have the strength to break away? Or would she end up stuck with him because of an obvious fear of starting again? because being dependent on somebody is an extremely scary thing? or most importantly, she’d forget what she was like without him?

Was it really worth it?

 

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The Love of my life

As opposed to what everybody assumes, my husband isn’t the love of my life. He knows this; we talk of it often but the truth is the truth and there’s no denying it.

Without revealing too much about my one true love, it’s pertinent that I tell you what makes him so special and what he truly means to me. He’s never going to read this and he knows I love him but the extent? I doubt he will ever understand.

Very few people know that we used to live together at one point: He & I and it was the best thing ever. I remember so many drives home from work when I’d invariably be having a bad day but just the thought of seeing him would cheer me up. Coming home, seeing him, I’d just light up and my happiness knew no bounds.

Our midnight drives, coffee runs and ice cream hunts: some amazing moments spent with him. He is the most avid listener I have ever come across. He never complained when I was in a bad mood, and as a matter of fact, he was never in a bad mood himself. One of the best things about him though, he was always so supportive. He never threw a tantrum and never did he ever get angry at me.

We had our moments of disagreement, I won’t lie. He often did things that I just could not deal with and many a times even failed to understand. I’d try to reason with him but he’d become this stone cold wall with no reaction, no justification and never a word of defence. His looking down was most certainly a sign of guilt that was near well impossible to miss.

He is a ladies man! Always has been, always will be. I never really see him deny it nor make any effort to hide it. I mean he & I would be walking alongside each other and he’d just leave me to walk up to some lady across the way. Unabashed and super chill! If that doesn’t surprise you, what will? I mean when he was with me, I was his be all and end all! But outside our home, he didn’t carry the same sentiment. You know he’d never eat anything unless I served it to him. He wouldn’t take care of himself, instead he’d wait for me to take care of him. Ask him why!

Other than the near philandering ways I’d say he was perfect! When he and I separated it was one of the worst things to have happened. I was inconsolable and I cried like a baby. It wasn’t possible for us to live together anymore due to circumstances that led to that moment but I knew my life would never been the same. You know when you’ve experienced that kind of love, nothing can ever compare.

I put him out of my mind for a while. Moved on, did things to keep busy. Met new people, made friends, travelled, but he was always there, in the back of my mind. He is still close to my family so he’d pop up in every family picture and somebody or the other always had their arm around him. I used to miss him more than words can say and Mukul could see my pain. There wasn’t much we could do about it but I began to feel that my life had lost the colour it needed.

And then, a few months ago, Mukul asked me if I’d like to bring him back into my life. I couldn’t deny its what I had been wanting to do myself but was unsure if Mukul was ready for it. But he was supportive and encouraging and just like that he was back! My friend, my love, the ruler of my heart, my Buddy!

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Isn’t he the cutest?

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When we moved to Bangalore, we had to leave him back home in Delhi with our parents because we couldn’t take care of him alone, but he’s finally moved in with us and I couldn’t be happier. He makes everything better! Our lives, our health, our sense of peace and calmness…everything seems so great! A Blessing and a Gift and unending pool of love, this munchkin is everything and more that I could ask for, and his name is Buddy!

xoxo

 

 

 

In pursuit of a Prince (Chapter 1)

Ever since she could remember, she always figured her husband would be like one of those guys you see in American movies. Charming, suave, well spoken, well groomed, tall. Handsome wasn’t necessarily on the list but well-groomed, well-spoken and charming trumps good looking any day. She’d daydream about him brewing coffee in the morning; making breakfast on weekends, even cooking on weekdays sometimes. An Indian girl’s American dream! Oh wow! More than anything else, it was the cooking she really looked forward to. It wasn’t as if she was a bad cook or an inexperienced one, quite the contrary but she just liked the idea of being cooked for. A dream of sorts for her, we could say. So she dreamed and dreamed and dreamed about her perfect man and his amazing cooking skills or atleast the idea of him. After all, a girl can dream, can’t she?

As it is in all Indian households, when she was old enough (atleast by their perception) to get married, her parents began looking for alliances. They weren’t closed minded people, oh no they most certainly were not! They, in fact kept asking her if she had a special someone in her life. She kept responding “No yet”. She said she was waiting..waiting for ‘The One’. She told them that she wasn’t going to go looking for him but she would sit back and let him find her. She was convinced that match making activities and online marriage portals wont lead her to him. He was going to carve the path that would lead to her. She had convinced herself that this was how it was meant to be. But you can’t really explain concepts such as these to Indian parents, can you? So what do you do? You give in and you hope that they inadvertently end up creating the bridge that will lead Him to find you.

Being caring and loving parents that they were they listened to her entire monologue on finding The One. They contemplated and subsequently confirmed that she did in fact want to get married, but her reassurances just confused them more. But she said, she wanted somebody who could cook. Parents being parents, they didn’t think it was as critical a criterion while selecting a possible husband for their precious darling. And I mean come on! What are you even supposed to say? “Our daughter won’t marry you unless you cook?” That would just sound like our daughter can’t cook. People will just think we didn’t teach her anything. She will come across as spoilt. We can’t risk that! Oh no no no!

So they searched and they met and they introduced their darling to several lovely boys, but she didn’t show too much interest. She returned from each meeting with a new deal breaker every time. The first one was too obsessed with his work; the next one was too obsessed with his looks. The third one seemed to love boys more than girls, and the fourth one smelt funny. The fifth, sixth and seventh were either too educated, too laidback or still connected to his parents with an umbilical cord of sorts. No! No! No! This was not working and she did not want to do it anymore. None of them were right and none of them were Mr.Right. The one she was looking for was just lost, needle in a haystack…you think? Her parents thought it best for her to find somebody on her own. Disappointment turned into sadness and soon depression, and bordered on thoughts like maybe she was being way too picky than was acceptable, maybe she didn’t know what it meant to recognize somebody for their inner beauty? Maybe she didn’t even know what went into deciding what was right for her in terms of a partner? Nobody trained her on the art of selecting a life partner, so how could she possibly be expected to know? There needs to be a rule book on things like this!! Ugh..!! But even amongst all these depressing thoughts, there was one underlining feeling, actually more of a faith now that you think of it. Faith that made her believe, that she was going to find him. He’s literally right around the corner, and when she finally meets him, she’ll recognize him for who he is: The One.

To be continued…

 

From cooking dud to cooking stud..How?

It’s been the longest, forever-est time since I last wrote here and it kills me,  that I haven’t had the time to do the one thing that I enjoy the most-writing. But anyhow, I’m here now back to writing and it’s wonderful.

So, I recently joined a new job. It’s fantastic and I love it. I work for a fashion start up which is focused on sustainable fashion. It’s a novel concept and it’s introduced me to so many different  aspects of fashion, sustainable, responsible and ethical. That being said, I made a few good friends in my new workplace as well. We bonded so well and in no time we were having lunches and afternoon cocktails and then I invited them over to lunch one day on the condition that I’ll cook for them. I made spaghetti bolognese and a chocolate fudge cake, and I wanna say “Holy what????”

I never imagined last year  this time that I could cook something like that. Admitted spaghetti bolognese and chocolate fudge isn’t rocket science but coming from somebody who could barely understand the lack of salt in a meal.. lemme tell u..it’s a big deal!

Its the learnings of living on your own. With no mommy standing behind you directing your every move, and with no elder sister periodically walking into the kitchen telling you some recipe hacks- you tend to learn a lot!!! When I moved out of home, all I kept thinking was how I’m gonna be eating takeout and microwave dinners every night. Uggghhhh imagine your taste buds dying slowly and steadily coz you ate too much TV dinner. I’m pretty sure that’s what kept urging me to learn and try to cook new things (or cook in the first place). I picked up new recipes from the hundreds of websites that tell you all the best ways to cook and plate and present a dish. I discovered some recipes on my own, though I’d rather say I stumbled upon them. I also fabulously picked up a few cues from my mom and some from my stylish chef girlfriends and after about an year I can now say I can whip up anything you wanna eat. And I’m proud!

One of my achievements has got to be that I single handedly cooked an authentic Indian meal for a party of 10 to the most glorious of praises. Come on!! That’s gotta mean something right? In a way my whole cooking quest started off as a means  to an end and then it slowly became a challenge to push myself and see how far I can go and now it’s become a source of happiness and it’s an extremely interesting a hobby to have.

I wonder if anybody else thinks this way but the fact is that cooking is a mirror for your feelings. Literally! How you feel can actually be tasted in the food you make. When you’re angry, and I mean really really angry and you’re cooking, the food never tastes as great as you want it to. So I make sure not to cook when I’m super upset. I want to put as much love and affection and good wishes in the food I make because it isn’t just me eating the food now is it? I’m feeding it to my friends and family and I don’t want any negative energy passing on to them through my food.

I don’t have any children, atleast not yet and I hope to have 1 someday and I want to train myself to drain my negativity and replace it with positivity, especially while cooking. I imagine myself cooking wonderful things for my growing baby and I would need a technique to push the negativity out so I can put all of my love even from my deepest reserves and all of luck in the food I make for my child.

Getting back to the original topic of discussion, I also learnt much to my surprise as much as I thought cooking is difficult or even Herculean for that matter, it actually isn’t. All of you men and women out there who think cooking isn’t for them or that it’s a waste of time, I urge you to try it. I don’t mean you take a class and you learn fine Italian cuisine. I mean just go through your kitchen cabinets and your refrigerator put together all the things that you can find (or are atleast edible) look up a few possible things to make using one or all of the things you found and just go about it. There is no such person who cannot cook. Everybody can cook!!! And I mean EVERYBODY! You may not cook well, or fast or in variety but that doesn’t mean you can’t cook. Trust me, coming from the biggest rebel against cooking (simply because it was too messy) it’s definitely true!

Do you wanna take up the cooking challenge today? 🙂

40 Fantastic things about Delhi & Delhiites

Being a Delhiite (any person who belongs to New Delhi, India) there are soooo many things we see and experience every day that are actually outside the ordinary. Interestingly, some of those things we have actually fallen into a habit of seeing or even doing without giving it much thought and it certainly doesn’t strike us as odd. But, then along comes an email like the one I got today called: 40 fantastic things about Dilli (that’s how you pronounce Delhi in Hindi) and you realize “Holy Crap! That shit is so true” 🙂 I actually admire the man/woman who took the time out to write down these quirky little things that only Dilli-wallas (again people from New Delhi India) can relate to.

Read for yourself and if you are from Delhi or know somebody from Delhi, then you know this is true! Read and enjoy and thank you to the perceptive and observant person who put this list together.

40 Fantastic things about saddi Dilli (our Delhi)

You know you are from Delhi when…..

  1. You drink alcohol only on Monday, Wednesday , and Thurday to Sunday evenings. And try not to drink on Tuesday.
  2. Treating a friend means – Daaru Shaaru te kabbab shabaab. (Booze and Kebabs)
  3. Even in the most posh colonies, you hear, “Aaloo lelo !!!, Bhindi le lo !!!! Pyaaz le lo !!!!, Tamatar le lo……” (Potatoes for sale, Okra for sale, Onions for sale and tomatoes for sale)
  4. And you hear women asking the vegetable vendor “Bhaiyaa dhaniya hari mirchi nahi diya!” [Even with Half a kilo Carrot – Dhania & Hari Mirch (coriander and green chillies) is expected to be free ] 😉
  5. A place to meet is Mocha, (CCD), Barista, Hookah.
  6. You use the word “setting” or “jugaad” at-least once a day. (Jugaad:  a colloquial Hindi word that can mean an innovative fix or a simple work-around)
  7. You have not visited either of – Qutub Minar, Red Fort, Lotus Temple. That’s only for tourists, so Delhiites say.
  8. You ride on the cycle rickshaw in NOIDA (more populary known as NEODA) – haggle over the price, but still pity rickshaw walla’s condition and give him what he asked.
  9. You glare at people who call Gol Gappas as Pani Puri!
  10. You always ask the vendor “Bhaiya yeh Gol-Gappe Aate ki hai ya Sooji ke?” (Are the Gol gappas made of flour or semolina?)
  11. Schools are the best is Delhi not because of CBSE, but because you’ve had school cancelled thrice due to cold in winters & summer vacations preponed due to sudden increase heat in Summers and at least two Rainy Day off during Monsoon.
  12. You have been to a wedding at a Mehrauli farmhouse at least once.
  13. You understand all important words in Punjabi & Punjabi “helping verbs” like teri maa di, teri bahen di… oye madar @#$% … oye bahen @#$$. Almost every Delhiite understands Punjabi to an extent. PUNJABI unites everyone.
  14. You call the waiter in the restaurant “boss” or “Pappey” & tack on “yaar” “bhai” to almost every sentence.
  15. You know that Pappay Da Dhaba or Kake Da Hotel has better butter chicken than Taj. You’ve at least tried it once! And you see a BMW, a Porsche OR a Mercedes parked outside it!
  16. You describe practically every other person on the planet as “Vella”. (‘Idle’ or Nikamma in Punjabi).
  17. You see middle-aged Aunties wearing Gucci shades and holding LV bags having Gol-Gappas in GK or Bhelpuri in South Ex along with Diet Coke !
  18. You call every stranger ‘Bhaiyya’.
  19. You refer to East Delhi as ‘Jamuna Paar’.
  20. You refer to AIIMS as Medical.
  21. Pretty girls as Totta, Maal or Bamb (Punjabi for Bomb).
  22. Aashiq mizaz boys as Majnu di Aulad !
  23. You dont buy tickets for a music concert or cricket match, but try to use political contacts… of the deputy secretary of the chief secretary of the Minister of State for Khadi.
  24. You overtake everyone from the wrong side and stare into his/her eyes while doing so.
  25. You have at least two cars and a motorbike at home.
  26. And you have fought at least once every month with neighbors over parking…
  27. You park your Car and take a Auto-rickshaw to Lajpat Nagar / Rajouri/ Kamla Nagar/ Karol Bagh. But CP, you don’t get parking space easily, yet you go always in your own vehicle.
  28. And then you say apni Kanvense (conveyance) howe na ta badi Kanvinyance (convenience) hondi hai ji !!!!!
  29. You have bribed a traffic cop (Mama) at least once.
  30. You know that a farmhouse has nothing to do with cattle or farming. It is luxurious hangout for whole night.
  31. You use “contacts” (jugaad) for everything, from getting movie tickets to restaurant bookings to play-school admissions.
  32. You have had Anda parantha outside Vikram hotel and Bun Omlette at Dhaula Kuan, Kulfi at Karol Bagh, Gol Gappe at India Gate, Dosa at Madras Hotel, Chana/Kulcha at Scindia House and Chaat at UPSC.
  33. Metro rail is your Pride but you travel in your Car.
  34. You think going the mall for shopping is equivalent to walking the ramp at Milan fashion week. You break out all the labels, because when else will you use your Prada, Dior and Louis Vuitton bags?
  35. You feel indicating which way you are going to turn your vehicle is an information security leak.
  36. You are a good driver coz you are correct in your guess of what the driver in the front vehicle will do.
  37. The only time you went to the Chidiya Ghar (Zoo) was on a school picnic.
  38. You expect around 10 FM STATIONS in every city! Woho.!
  39. DESPITE all the good and bad……..You still Love Delhi…
  40. You keep singing ….. Dilli hai Dil Walon ki….. Oye Balle Balle !!!

 

Promise Never To Untie- By Hope

A poem on friendship and the love and tenderness between friends…

 

 

The tender words are spoken

Each body and soul bared

Told secrets over endless days

Often doing more than dared

 

New world beyond my door

With intrigued and intensity

Now we have shared our hearts

A bond now made it permanently

 

Facing our days made easier

Despite any type of weather

Each other’s heart felt deeply

Both happy we stuck together

 

It took us little time and effort

The bonding as strong as glue

I now promise never to untie

The strings I have tied with you

 

The understanding of each other

Breaths to take, we breathe the air

As the relationship interchanges

Knowing our loving hearts are there

 

Now we are never left on the outside

Lovingly enter each others domain

Smiling. laughing and forever teasing

But forever friends we then became

Friends

The uncredited sisters

Sometimes in life you come across people who are as different from you as night and day yet you connect in the most inexplicable way. There literally seems to be a string from your heart to theirs and that’s just amazing.

Some women in my life have that connection with me. I call them my friends but they truly are my sisters. Each and everyone of them has, at some point of time in life held my hand, wiped my tears and reassured me that it’s going to be alright and told me just what I wanted to hear, “Hey! Life sucks… and that’s a fact! Forget it and lets go have some fun“. Some of these women I have known for over a decade, some just a few weeks, but all of them are special and close to my heart.

I cannot truly say that men experience this feeling of sisterhood and solidarity the way women feel it, but if they could, would they view women differently? I always thought my blood and biological sister was the only one I would ever have and that was just the end of it. But I realised, quite later that you don’t need to be related by blood to be sisters and brothers, you can be sisters of the heart, the soul and the mind.

Every time something wonderful happens and you bow down and give credit to your family: your parents, your siblings, your elder grandma & grandpa, your husband and your kids and so on. How often do you give credit to your friends? And if you feel such a strong bond with some people, enough that you wonder if you have that kind of bond with people you share your blood with, then why don’t they get the same credit? Even when you know, some of those women are truly and honestly your sisters, in the actual sense of the word?

I say, “Bah! Humbug!” to all these silly notions and rules and everything in between. For me: my sisters are my sisters, blood or not I love you the same. You are by my side, never to leave me and as I have realised it is quite true that “In the cookies of life, sisters are the chocolate chips“. (Author Unknown)

So my dear darling beautiful chocolate chips, I dedicate this beautiful poem to you all, which sums up aptly what I feel.

From one sister to another: “I carry your heart with me” By E.E.Cummings

I carry your heart with me (I carry it in my heart)
I am never without it
Anywhere I go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling
I fear no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet)
I want no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant,
and whatever a sun will always sing is you.
Here is the deepest secret nobody knows,
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart.
i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart).
TO MY BLOOD AND BIOLOGICAL SISTER I SAY: “Some sisters only see each other on Mother’s Day and some never see each other their whole lives and even some who will never speak again.  But no sisterhood is like yours and mine… linked by volatile love, best friends who make other best friends ever so jealous” (Patricia Volk)

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A day in the life of a marketing executive.

If you work in marketing (and I know that you do);

then you will know that I am being very very true.

The life of a ‘marketer’ (as I like to call myself),

is absolutely, (and I mean truly) off the shelf! 🙂

I know I sound cheesy with all these short lines,

It’s all the more worse ‘coz every other 1 rhymes.

So getting back to what I was originally saying,

That the life of a marketer is worth craving.

There’s so much running around that you don’t have to exercise,

There’s so much creativity that you can’t help but sigh! :-S

The best part about marketing is the secret inside

that marketers, never casually take things in their stride

They seriously listen and ponder, to understand your ways

But beware, because for mean-ness they’ll make you pay.

Whatever your designation, you’re just some glorified fire fighter,

You can be President of Marketing but you will still be called a marketer.

I just realized how this is not just about a single day,

this entire poem is about marketers everywhere.

Marketing execs as people like to call them,

you can love ’em, you can hate ’em, but honey you just can’t ignore ’em.

They are flashy but harassed and annoyingly accurate,

you can wrangle them, push them but boy are they sarcastic.

We are moody, sometimes shady and but we are always so right

We are efficient, intelligent and never out of sight.

My job of a marketer, may not be as big,

may not be as fancy as VP or Country Head.

That’s the thing about marketing, it’s so wonderful,

that without me your business would just fall and crumble.

Who would do your branding, your promotion and your stage

that needs to be set up to make you look great.

So, next time you forget it, I’ll say it out loud,

think about it before you boss a marketing executive around.

Road to modern marketing

Road to modern marketing

To be or not to be….My frenemy!

Quite often we come across people we just don’t like. Maybe, a colleague, or a relative, or somebody who provides an essential service, like the maid perhaps? or the dry cleaner?

You cannot deny that there are such people in your life. However hard you try, these people just don’t make it to your “Favorite people” list. And 90% of the time you don’t really have any option but to put up with them. So what do you do when you come face to face with a person like that? Do you look the other way? Do you gulp everything you’re dying to say or do you actually go ahead an say it, fully aware that the person on the receiving end needs to deal with you, as much as you need to deal with them?

All that aside, then there is the case of frenemies. 😀

A lot of women, tend to refer to other women in their circles as “frenemies“. Ever wondered where the term frenemies really came from?? You have a friend. You call that person a friend because (and I’m referring to a woman’s perspective ONLY) you really can’t call her anything else and she is nice to you and even polite, but she is more than willing to turn around and stab you in the back at the blink of an eye. But the chances of that happening are more likely none, because she’s friends with you for a reason- either you’re in the same circle of friends, or you share a class or you both need each other to help finish the ugly project you have to submit for midterms, or better yet- she is the girl your brother is dating.

That’s my favorite one! Your brother calls you both his special girls, and he assumes you will get along fabulously because you have him in common and which 2 unrelated women in the world, did NOT get along when their connection was a man they both would kill for???? Men are weird like that. They don’t really understand the complexities of female relationships, and I don’t blame them. Even women sometimes cannot understand the complexities of their own relationships with other women. 🙂

So, how do frenemies behave with each other? I haven’t come up with a term for the behavior yet, but I will soon.

Till I come up with said term, I’d like to call it sweet sarcasm.

My husband (Mukul) enjoys doing his own version of sweet sarcasm to people he doesn’t really like and it can be extremely funny, when you’re viewing it from a third party perspective. He doesn’t have any ‘frenemies‘ per se, so he just does it to people he has no option but to deal with, but he won’t let them take him down by being over the top nice either. That’s Mukul for you! 🙂

So here is what Mukul does: He smiles, shrugs and says all that he wants to. If it’s somebody who is related to us through blood or marriage: Mukul puts his palms together, bows his head in respect and then says what he wants.

Putting your palms together is a sign of respect in most south Asian countries. So, by doing that Mukul shows them (relatives) respect, which kind of seals their lips because the physical gesture of showing respect outweighs the words, in that one moment. Also, he does everything simultaneously, which confuses a lot of people and they don’t have as much time to formulate an appropriate reply in their head. Personally, I think that is fantastic!!!!

It’s an acquired skill, and I am yet to acquire it 🙂

Sweet sarcasm or not, you gotta deal with your so called frenemies, or whatever version of frenemies you have. How I like to deal with it is to smile away to glory and keep looking at that person, they know what your thinking, they know you can take them down, and most of all, they know they can’t do without you.

But then again, can you?

In conclusion, I think we all need a frenemy or 2 in our lives, especially women.

Come on girls, can you honestly say our conversations are just as lively if we are NOT bashing our frenemies?? 🙂

When women meet other women they always ask themselves this question in their heads (Probably ask it out loud in sororities):

Hmmmm….To be or not to be? My frenemy?

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