In pursuit of a Prince (Chapter 1)

Ever since she could remember, she always figured her husband would be like one of those guys you see in American movies. Charming, suave, well spoken, well groomed, tall. Handsome wasn’t necessarily on the list but well-groomed, well-spoken and charming trumps good looking any day. She’d daydream about him brewing coffee in the morning; making breakfast on weekends, even cooking on weekdays sometimes. An Indian girl’s American dream! Oh wow! More than anything else, it was the cooking she really looked forward to. It wasn’t as if she was a bad cook or an inexperienced one, quite the contrary but she just liked the idea of being cooked for. A dream of sorts for her, we could say. So she dreamed and dreamed and dreamed about her perfect man and his amazing cooking skills or atleast the idea of him. After all, a girl can dream, can’t she?

As it is in all Indian households, when she was old enough (atleast by their perception) to get married, her parents began looking for alliances. They weren’t closed minded people, oh no they most certainly were not! They, in fact kept asking her if she had a special someone in her life. She kept responding “No yet”. She said she was waiting..waiting for ‘The One’. She told them that she wasn’t going to go looking for him but she would sit back and let him find her. She was convinced that match making activities and online marriage portals wont lead her to him. He was going to carve the path that would lead to her. She had convinced herself that this was how it was meant to be. But you can’t really explain concepts such as these to Indian parents, can you? So what do you do? You give in and you hope that they inadvertently end up creating the bridge that will lead Him to find you.

Being caring and loving parents that they were they listened to her entire monologue on finding The One. They contemplated and subsequently confirmed that she did in fact want to get married, but her reassurances just confused them more. But she said, she wanted somebody who could cook. Parents being parents, they didn’t think it was as critical a criterion while selecting a possible husband for their precious darling. And I mean come on! What are you even supposed to say? “Our daughter won’t marry you unless you cook?” That would just sound like our daughter can’t cook. People will just think we didn’t teach her anything. She will come across as spoilt. We can’t risk that! Oh no no no!

So they searched and they met and they introduced their darling to several lovely boys, but she didn’t show too much interest. She returned from each meeting with a new deal breaker every time. The first one was too obsessed with his work; the next one was too obsessed with his looks. The third one seemed to love boys more than girls, and the fourth one smelt funny. The fifth, sixth and seventh were either too educated, too laidback or still connected to his parents with an umbilical cord of sorts. No! No! No! This was not working and she did not want to do it anymore. None of them were right and none of them were Mr.Right. The one she was looking for was just lost, needle in a haystack…you think? Her parents thought it best for her to find somebody on her own. Disappointment turned into sadness and soon depression, and bordered on thoughts like maybe she was being way too picky than was acceptable, maybe she didn’t know what it meant to recognize somebody for their inner beauty? Maybe she didn’t even know what went into deciding what was right for her in terms of a partner? Nobody trained her on the art of selecting a life partner, so how could she possibly be expected to know? There needs to be a rule book on things like this!! Ugh..!! But even amongst all these depressing thoughts, there was one underlining feeling, actually more of a faith now that you think of it. Faith that made her believe, that she was going to find him. He’s literally right around the corner, and when she finally meets him, she’ll recognize him for who he is: The One.

To be continued…

 

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Fear of being forgotten

Do u ever have that dream? The one where you are walking down a dark alley, or maybe in a forest and you hear some noise, so you start running and end up falling in a ditch. I have asked quite a few friends if they ever had this dream (or nightmare, whatever you may want to call it) and most of them said they’d had some version of this dream.

One of my friend’s told me she had this recurring dream of falling down the stairs . Not that, I’m much of a dream analyser but I am quite interested to know what this is supposed to signify.

I am sure of one thing though, that it has to do with the fear of failing, in some way. But then failure could be of any kind. Failure in love, in your career, in the way you raised your children, in your education, in your marriage, in your friendships or even something as trivial as failure to make the right choices.

But of all the people I asked, there was somebody who told me that there is a chance that you could “fail to make a mark” on somebody. Basically he feared, that he would fail to leave a good impression on anybody in his lifetime, and would be forgotten easily. It may seem funny or even ridiculous to all or some of you, but did you know, the fear of being forgotten, ignored, or abandoned is a condition called athazagoraphobia?????? Ya! It’s legit!

The fear of being forgotten exists in more people than you would expect. People constantly strive to be the centre of attention many a times, ensuring that people remember them in one way or another. It was hard for me to imagine that such a fear exists. I always thought it worked in the most simple way, if you’re good to people then people will be good to you, and that’s the people you leave a mark on. That’s the people who are gonna cry at your funeral, coz you’re not with them anymore.

Often I have found that people who are withdrawn or shy are prone to worry about whether or not they are being remembered by the people they care about. A person’s own insecurities or past experiences in which he or she has been forgotten by someone important in their lives can be a huge factor in the rise of such fears and also possessiveness in a relationship.

But I am neither withdrawn nor insecure about being forgotten. My fear is not the absence of people at my funeral. My fear is the absence of people in my life when I’m alive. My failure would be in the presence of thousands of people fake crying, fake sympathising-pretending to care when they really don’t. But my biggest failure would be the absence of friends in my lowest moment.

Unlike my friend (who has some version of athazagoraphobia) I don’t fear the fact that someday, after I die, I’ll be forgotten. Of course I will be! Everybody will move on, and I hope they will remember me fondly for something I once said or maybe a song I sang or a picture I took.

So, clinical athazagoraphobia would be fear of situations such as meeting an old mate from primary school, somebody who probably sat next to you for 2 whole years, and he’d say “I don’t know you”; or fear of a situation, where after working in an office for 10 years, when you finally quit, nobody comes outside to say goodbye to you.

The fear of being forgotten is much stronger than you can ever imagine it to be. Everybody wants to be a celebrity- they want the money, the fame and so on. What is fame? Your popularity? Your ‘stardom’? Your mark on the world? Your way to make sure in the history of the world, your name is bold, italicised and underlined? Is it athazagoraphobia???

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Ten pick up lines you should never ever try

So, recently I applied for this fantastic writing opportunity in a very popular and cool place. Even though I cannot disclose the minute details, I can tell you that they are the most socially updated, and most prominently upcoming retail company India has seen in a while. I like their stuff, their style and so on.

Anyhu, they asked me to write an article on “10 pick up lines you should not even try” based on my experiences and, so I got to writing. When I started writing, I was surprised that it didn’t take me very long to come up with 10 cheesy pick up lines 🙂

If I wanted to be called a liar by everybody I’d say- “Pick up lines are boring.” But, the truth my dear Watson, is that lame, cheesy pick up lines entertain, like nothing else. They make you roll your eyes, sometimes in mock frustration and sometimes in REAL frustration, but all in all, it never fails to provide a laugh. OK!!! If you’re in a bad mood then maybe a smile. So, from my source of entertainment, here’s a list of 10 pick up lines, men should never try. 🙂

#10  “Hi there! I saw you from across the bar & thought, why don’t I brighten her day by having a conversation with her?”

Recognize the fine line between confidence and arrogance. If you’re confident, it’s attractive, but you are NOT God’s gift to women – if you were, you wouldn’t need to use a pick up line!!

#9 “Hey! I saw you, and I just knew that the Universe didn’t bring me here for nothing. It brought me here so I could meet you.”

Seriously? Have you considered, that the universe probably brought you here to get beaten up for using such a ludicrous line??

 #8 “I feel like I’ve seen you somewhere. Oh wait! In my dreams last night”

I’ve heard some pretty lame one-liners. But, with this line I couldn’t even bring myself to laugh. If you could roll your eyes as far back as I did, they would get stuck in your head.

#7  “I like my drinks and my women fiery. I have this baby {gestures drink} in my hand and all I’m waiting for…. is you.”

Fiery? Let me spice you up with a black eye and chilli powder up your keister.

#6  “What are we going to do about this obvious chemistry between us? I mean, I got pulled all the way from the other side of the bar”

I laughed, pulled my gay friend in front of me and said “I think your chemistry maybe with him. Let me get out of the way”

#5 “You look like my next girlfriend”

My (then) fiancé (now husband-Mukul) saved him from me by saying “Yeah? I kinda think she looks like my wife”

#4 “You know a lot of celebrities use dance to work out. How about you and I work out together?”

OK! First of all, do you think I’m fat? And I should be impressed? How?

#3  “I was thinking- You’re hot, I’m hot, let’s have dinner and see how it goes”

This happened to my friend and me in NYC. My friend turned her back to him and he looked at me and said “How bout you senorita?” Persistent li’l fella!

 #2 “I have to say, I love everything Indian, & when I saw you I knew I was in love, so I figured you must be Indian.”

If you love everything Indian, how come you don’t live in India?

#1 worst pick up line used on me: “You should be someone’s wife. How about mine?”– WHAAAAAAAT? He jumped right to getting married!!! He reeked of desperation and I actually spilled my cocktail on my skirt while laughing

So that’s my list, but I am calling out to all you lovely ladies to share the worst pick up lines used on you, and to make it dramatic, here’s a poetic invitation:

If you girls have a new one to share,

Shiny, unused and a breath of fresh air,

Don’t hide it up your sleeve or in your collar,

I’d really love it if you’d just holler!

 

Don’t forget, be social and share share share!

nutty+cheesy

nutty+cheesy