10 STYLE trends for SUMMER 2016

We look up to Fashionistas and Designers to let us know the best style trends to follow every season. Each year fashion weeks are an affirmation of the current style, and what you see on the runway is a prediction of upcoming trends. These trends dictate our shopping;  our wardrobe and most importantly form the basis of our ensemble for the season.

I know so many people who’d choose to disagree and as much as non-conformists and idealists like to tell the world that they take themselves too seriously to care about what they wear (aka fashion) that’s really not the case. When designers showcase their creations on the runway, they provide a platform for the $1.2 trillion global Fashion industry to build on. From the runway: prints, designs, silhouettes, colours, craft and style trickle into the mainstream & fast fashion clothing industry making that trend available for everybody. So, even the smallest piece of clothing or accessory that you you see in the clearance section of a shopping mart, is actually the result of a super elaborate process that created fashion as we know it.

That being said Spring/Summer2016 has brought back some old school trends with a twist. From Kendall Jenner to India’s Sonam Kapoor everybody is reveling in these classics and putting their own spin to it.

  1. Coachella Dress: The Annual music and arts festival has inspired many a trend and most importantly the Coachella dress. Considered the Woodstock of our times the Coachella festival brings out the free spirit in you and the dress is meant to do the same. A loose, maxi silhouette in an organic fabric that treats your skin with love and lets you be casual & chic.

Available at: Shift by Nimish Shah

  1. Midi dress: Not all dresses can go from office to everywhere and won’t be considered in several social settings. Maxi dresses are too bohemian or too princess-y. There is a midway that meets both the styles and that’s the midi dress. Investing in a few midi-dresses makes your spring/summer wardrobe that much fuller, more wearable, and yes, even cooler.

Available at Mango and Asos

 

  1. Dyes & ombres: A celebration of colour, the dyed and ombre prints provide for a true bohemian and whimsical feel.

Available at Indelust and Tomas Maier

  1. The bob with texture: Spring is going to be the season for midway. With dresses, heels, bags and even your hairdo. While long hair is romantic, while a short haircut is got courage, but you can take pleasure in the best of both worlds by having a short to mid length hairdo. While straight hair is ultra chic, and spring curls are high school cheerleader, take the stand and be the mid-20s girl with wavy hair. Add texture to your bob mid- length bob for that playful bounce yet not letting your hair go too out of place. From work to a premiere your hair is all set.

 

  1. The contemporary bucket bag: Not slouchy, not rigid but structured. This season the bucket gets a chic makeover, from a bohemian, crocheted piece the bucket bag emerges as a style statement, versatile in its purpose and unrestrictive in space.

Available at Charles & Keith and Net-a-porter

  1. The classic white shirt with a twist: Originally considered to be a “men only” piece of clothing, women took this classic button down from the men and we owned it! And how! The classic white shirt has been through an endless number of twists and styles, but still always emerges as a staple piece in every girl’s wardrobe.

Available at Proenza Schouler and Neiman Marcus

 

  1. Bell sleeves: Bell sleeve tops are on the fashion forecast for 2016! They are fun to wear with shorts, skirts, and your favorite pair of jeans.

Available at Nordstorm and Zara

  1. Bardot dresses, tops & jumpsuits: Perhaps taking cues from what was popular in 70s, more than a few designers showcased tops and dresses with cold shoulder silhouettes for Spring 2016. This season it’s all about shrugging off your sleeve.

Available at River Island

 

  1. Denim on Denim: Once a faux pas, the denim on denim trend is breaking the barrier and fast! The secret ofcourse balance. Know your body, flatter your shape and most importantly keep the accessories from minimum to none. Don’t try to steal the spotlight from this bold choice.
  1. High waisted shorts: As temperatures rise, you’ll be more than happy to cut down on length and show off a little more leg. With high-waisted shorts you can do just that and occasionally step away from the dress option. In the right fabric high waisted shorts are perfect for either a casual brunch or an evening cocktail party.

Available at Stylebop

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The bond that never was..

MotherDaughter

The apple of her eye, her precious little gem

Her sweet cherry pie, her adorable son

Her life’s purpose, Her pride and joy

Her inflated ego, her favorite toy

She felt relief like never before

“Thank God it’s a boy!” When she was told.

The years of frustration pain and agony

She just knew “the problem is me

She convinced herself that she was at fault

She cursed herself and with her body she fought

She had tried twice before but found they were girls

She had punished herself and punished the budding pearls

With no fault of theirs, they still had to pay

For their privileged brother they had to make way

Without a choice the girls sacrificed their life

Unflinchingly she made the unborn pay the price

But when she looks at him, she feels no sorrow

She feels no pain, no guilt, and no horror

But at night when she lies down herself

She hears whispers in the wind and she is forced to accept

The ghosts of her unborn linger around her

They cry and cry and call out to her

They ask her why she didn’t love them enough

They ask her why she felt such disgust

They badger her with questions all night long

She lays in fear, prays that she remain strong

One day she noticed that the ghosts weren’t there

Perhaps because her silence they couldn’t bear

For she had chosen to not argue with them

Not give them any response, any closure or satisfaction

She did not know that the ghosts had gone

Because in life & death she had disappointed her unborn

But the love of those girls never truly far

They watched over their brother, protected him from harm



 

That was then, and this is now,

Her son is an adult, he’s seen some ups and down

But in all those lows that he had been in

He was confident that nothing could touch him

Since he was a child he remembered the whispers

Telling him “its ok” whenever he whimpered

The reassuring voices told him they were there

They told him they would follow him no matter where.

He never told anybody, let alone his mother

He knew she wouldn’t understand, not even bother

But his angels were always by his side

In the worst & best of times

But one day when an accident occurred

Everything was quick and all a blur

He couldn’t remember whom he hit,

Nor did he know if he was hit

He was losing strength and consciousness too

He remembered thinking life was so cruel

His weeping mother begged and begged

To the Good Lord, as she sat by his bed

She prayed for his life, his breath

She prayed for his every step

10 days of nothing, he wasn’t getting better

Suddenly he opened his eyes and asked for water

She thanked the Lord for all that he had done

She felt victory, Her prayers had won

But something was strange, When she thought all was well,

Her lively, handsome son kept withdrawing in a shell

As it worsened, she could see

He was struggling to be

Himself again. Something was not right

He was angry with her, constantly picked a fight

She gathered the strength to ask him his troubles

Why he was choosing to live in his bubble

He said he would tell her but she wouldn’t,

Believe him anyway, since she just couldn’t.

He told her about his angels, how he was protected

She was intrigued, almost surprised by what he said.

As he recounted his experiences

She recalled those nightly instances

When She felt whispers around her,

burning her with questions, demanding answers

Her son then told her that the angels called out to him

They told him not to fear, but to walk towards them

He walked and walked and reached a door

And came face to face with them at the threshold

He saw tears on their faces and felt their pride

And they told me once again, that I was doing just fine,

They hugged me tight and told me how far I’d come

And then they announced, ‘It was time to go home.’

Although they wished we could all stay together

The journey ended here and we would part forever.

We were finally together and how,

Why would they push me away? Why now?

They said their purpose was to give me life

And I didn’t know what that meant till they held me tight

And told me they were my sisters and loved me so

That they would give up their lives a 100 times more.

When I opened my eyes and lay in my bed

I looked for my sisters and I gave into my dread

They had become whispers again, smiling in the sun

Encouraging me to go out and have fun,

I felt so much hatred. Hatred towards you,

For you had done the unthinkable, its true.

Because of you my sisters were never born

You robbed me of the most beautiful bond”



 

She cried so much Her strength was spent

At night she lay still, Her shock had no end

As she closed her eyes, she said a prayer

She hoped her strength would no longer waver

Bright light filled the room, as she opened her eyes

Before her they stood so beautiful so wise

She opened her arms and gave a smile

They ran to her as they began to cry

She asked for their forgiveness for everything past

They told her they loved her, they were together at last

She touched their face, and stroked their hair

She finally understood her grave mistake

Time went by and morning came

It was surprising that she was sleeping in so late

When they checked on her, she wouldn’t awake

She had a peaceful smile on her lovely face

They had reached her too late, she was already gone

In peace with the 2 that were never born.



 

10 ways (tests) to know he is the one!

mr-right

Many of my girlfriends, who are still single and living the fabulous life, ask me how I knew my husband was the one for me. Truth is I didn’t and I don’t.. but I believe. I think that makes all the difference in the world. Fact is we never really know who is real and who is lying. There maybe a facade underneath the facade..how will you figure it out?

The best we can do, is look for a few things and the rest? Good faith, strong belief. I’m not an expert but I’ve listed down 10 essential things to look for (tests for him) when you’re trying to decide if he is the one.

  1. When you walk into the room…Is he looking at your face or is he checking out your cleavage?
    1. The ideal situation would be when you walk into the room, he looks at your face first then proceeds to check out your cleavage. (Why shouldn’t he? You’re hot and after all, he’s a man!)
  2. When deciding something…say for example you both decide to watch a movie, how does that conversation generally go about? Him: “I have booked tickets to go watch blah”, You: “I don’t really want to watch that”. Him: “Well..Too bad! I have already booked the tickets”- So no consultation and only Domination?
    1. NO WAY!!! Always consult. You don’t have to like the same things, but that doesn’t mean the other person’s opinion doesn’t count. He needs to take into consideration what you like and what you don’t and if he doesn’t care, then maybe he should find somebody who’s willing to put up with his crap.
  3. Does he respect his parents? Does he care of what they think, how they function? I don’t mean to be tethered to them with the eternal umbilical cord, but respect. Be aware of their feelings and their discomfort.
    1. Remember girls, if he respects his own parents, he will respect your parents as well.
  4. Is he self sufficient? Not how much money his dad has, or how fancy his dad’s car is? What about him? What does he earn?
    1. He may not have riches in his kitty, nor does he have to be the Duke of Yorkshire, but if he didn’t have anything can he take care of himself? or you? When you fall sick, will he drive you to the hospital, or will he wait for his daddy to send a car from home?
  5. How do you feel when he is not around? Do you smile, do you laugh?
    1. I shared this incident with a friend of mine. My husband has a habit of making cheesy jokes. For example, when I ask him what he wants for breakfast, he’d invariably reply “love” and some days he would add “you’re my breakfast, as long as I’m looking at you, I don’t need to eat anything”. I personally hate this drama- It’s so corny! Yet..on any morning, when he doesn’t say something silly, I start worrying if something is wrong. When he is not around, I almost always repeat these stories to my friends and I laugh, coz it’s sweet & funny.
  6. How does he treat your friends? Does he suck up or is he normal like he is with his friends? The trick is to balance. If he is going over the top to make your friends happy, then you’re absolutely right to be suspicious. We should never have to go that far to make somebody happy. It’s wrong of you to expect him to impress your friends as well. Friends are there for a reason- they love you and support you and if you screw up, they slap your face blind. But when you’ve made the right decision he shouldn’t have to impress anybody. They’ll already be impressed.
    1. He should be casual, friendly and just himself. If you’re expecting be somebody he is not to impress your friends, then you should check yourself- It basically means you know you’ve made the wrong choice and you don’t want your friends to throw it in your face so you’re getting him to suck up to them. Not cool girl!
  7. How does he consider your choices? Is he critical or judgmental or supportive?
    1. When my friend wanted to buy an expensive Gucci handbag from her second or third paycheck, her boyfriend couldn’t bring himself to be supportive. He explained to her how he would love for her to treat herself to something that fancy but it was too early to splurge and he would wish that she hold off for another month or so, but if she did’t want to wait then to go ahead and he will manage things at home for the next 2 months- That’s how it should be!
  8. What does he want to do in life?
    1. When my friend was getting married, I asked her husband-to-be what he wanted to do in life.. His response was one of the best I have heard. ” I don’t know what I want to do, but I do know what I want to be- A good husband, and a good father”
  9. What does he expect your position to be in his life? A wife, a friend?
    1. He should never forget you are his wife, but that doesn’t mean you stop being friends. Why should he choose one over the other?
  10. Why does he want to marry you?
    1. Because you make his life better, because with you he can imagine his life being so muchmore successful, because he wants to spend his life making you happy & because he can’t live without your smile.

Make the right decision my lovelies. Have faith, good things will come to you! 🙂

Treasures from Nagaland

Really good read and nicely captured! 🙂

Storytellers of Wonder

The Nagas have a rich tradition of art and craft rooted in a lifestyle that has always been in harmony with the environment they live in. Their utility items, weapons, costumes and textiles for the home are all created by deft craftsman of the tribe, with each having a ritualistic or aesthetic value.

All the 17 tribes from Nagaland (as recognised by the Indian state) are united in their love for color, their adornments borrowed from the environment they live in and their creation of all the utility items including clothing, jewelry, headgear etc., with the skill of a true artisan. The motifs and design details vary with each tribe, being markers of their unique identities.

The most significant crafts of this region, created by skilled workers within the tribe, include the following:

Basket Making in Nagaland, IndiaBasketry

Bamboo and cane baskets created by Naga tribes are recognised for their immense utility and aesthetic…

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Remembering Daddy

Dear Daddy,

How are you? I bet you’re kicking butt up there. 🙂 I hadn’t written to you in forever so I sat down today and decided to pen down (more like type) a few words. Today being the big day and all, it made a lot more sense to write to you today. I’m sure you are eager to know how everybody is over here. Well, we’re all doing pretty great. Mom’s well, still working, still complaining about authorities, still loud. I’m good too and so is Mukul. We have a good life here and a cute house of our own. I do have an inkling that you’d have thought our house was too empty, or not furnished enough, but that’s ok dad, coz we like it that way. 🙂

I was watching some lame TV show today, the kind you and I used to watch all the time, amidst all the laughter. It was one of those talent hunt shows and the judge guy tells one of the contestants that he’s gonna make his folks real proud some day. It was so profound and poetic, I was surprised at the emotion I felt. But daddy, the fact is I’ve become that person. I’ve been this way for 7 years now. Ever since you decided to leave me. I miss you daddy. I really do! If there was anything I could do to bring you back, I would but sometimes, things work the way they do for a reason. Though I’ll never fully understand your actions and the reasons behind them, or the way you lived your life but I’ll forever carry with me the mystery that is your death.

This is the 7th year of your death, and I can’t believe it’s been that long. I remember my birthday parties and I remember you coming to the train station to pick me up, every time I’d come home from college. I remember seeing the pride in your face whenever I took part in school programs. I cannot forget our endless debate on politics, economics, psychology and what not. Those were some good times dad. I can’t forget the time I was hospitalised for jaundice and you were so worried you told me as long as I got well soon, you’d get me anything under the sky. You were so freaked out! come on dad, its just jaundice. 🙂

I know there will never be another you, and I don’t want there to be either, but sometimes I miss you so much that it gets tough to say it out loud in words and then I wonder whether I’m losing my mind or is this real. I’m sure I’ll see you, some day but until then, you take care of yourself and continue kicking butt, coz I wouldn’t expect anything less from you.

I love you dad!

Your daughter

40 Fantastic things about Delhi & Delhiites

Being a Delhiite (any person who belongs to New Delhi, India) there are soooo many things we see and experience every day that are actually outside the ordinary. Interestingly, some of those things we have actually fallen into a habit of seeing or even doing without giving it much thought and it certainly doesn’t strike us as odd. But, then along comes an email like the one I got today called: 40 fantastic things about Dilli (that’s how you pronounce Delhi in Hindi) and you realize “Holy Crap! That shit is so true” 🙂 I actually admire the man/woman who took the time out to write down these quirky little things that only Dilli-wallas (again people from New Delhi India) can relate to.

Read for yourself and if you are from Delhi or know somebody from Delhi, then you know this is true! Read and enjoy and thank you to the perceptive and observant person who put this list together.

40 Fantastic things about saddi Dilli (our Delhi)

You know you are from Delhi when…..

  1. You drink alcohol only on Monday, Wednesday , and Thurday to Sunday evenings. And try not to drink on Tuesday.
  2. Treating a friend means – Daaru Shaaru te kabbab shabaab. (Booze and Kebabs)
  3. Even in the most posh colonies, you hear, “Aaloo lelo !!!, Bhindi le lo !!!! Pyaaz le lo !!!!, Tamatar le lo……” (Potatoes for sale, Okra for sale, Onions for sale and tomatoes for sale)
  4. And you hear women asking the vegetable vendor “Bhaiyaa dhaniya hari mirchi nahi diya!” [Even with Half a kilo Carrot – Dhania & Hari Mirch (coriander and green chillies) is expected to be free ] 😉
  5. A place to meet is Mocha, (CCD), Barista, Hookah.
  6. You use the word “setting” or “jugaad” at-least once a day. (Jugaad:  a colloquial Hindi word that can mean an innovative fix or a simple work-around)
  7. You have not visited either of – Qutub Minar, Red Fort, Lotus Temple. That’s only for tourists, so Delhiites say.
  8. You ride on the cycle rickshaw in NOIDA (more populary known as NEODA) – haggle over the price, but still pity rickshaw walla’s condition and give him what he asked.
  9. You glare at people who call Gol Gappas as Pani Puri!
  10. You always ask the vendor “Bhaiya yeh Gol-Gappe Aate ki hai ya Sooji ke?” (Are the Gol gappas made of flour or semolina?)
  11. Schools are the best is Delhi not because of CBSE, but because you’ve had school cancelled thrice due to cold in winters & summer vacations preponed due to sudden increase heat in Summers and at least two Rainy Day off during Monsoon.
  12. You have been to a wedding at a Mehrauli farmhouse at least once.
  13. You understand all important words in Punjabi & Punjabi “helping verbs” like teri maa di, teri bahen di… oye madar @#$% … oye bahen @#$$. Almost every Delhiite understands Punjabi to an extent. PUNJABI unites everyone.
  14. You call the waiter in the restaurant “boss” or “Pappey” & tack on “yaar” “bhai” to almost every sentence.
  15. You know that Pappay Da Dhaba or Kake Da Hotel has better butter chicken than Taj. You’ve at least tried it once! And you see a BMW, a Porsche OR a Mercedes parked outside it!
  16. You describe practically every other person on the planet as “Vella”. (‘Idle’ or Nikamma in Punjabi).
  17. You see middle-aged Aunties wearing Gucci shades and holding LV bags having Gol-Gappas in GK or Bhelpuri in South Ex along with Diet Coke !
  18. You call every stranger ‘Bhaiyya’.
  19. You refer to East Delhi as ‘Jamuna Paar’.
  20. You refer to AIIMS as Medical.
  21. Pretty girls as Totta, Maal or Bamb (Punjabi for Bomb).
  22. Aashiq mizaz boys as Majnu di Aulad !
  23. You dont buy tickets for a music concert or cricket match, but try to use political contacts… of the deputy secretary of the chief secretary of the Minister of State for Khadi.
  24. You overtake everyone from the wrong side and stare into his/her eyes while doing so.
  25. You have at least two cars and a motorbike at home.
  26. And you have fought at least once every month with neighbors over parking…
  27. You park your Car and take a Auto-rickshaw to Lajpat Nagar / Rajouri/ Kamla Nagar/ Karol Bagh. But CP, you don’t get parking space easily, yet you go always in your own vehicle.
  28. And then you say apni Kanvense (conveyance) howe na ta badi Kanvinyance (convenience) hondi hai ji !!!!!
  29. You have bribed a traffic cop (Mama) at least once.
  30. You know that a farmhouse has nothing to do with cattle or farming. It is luxurious hangout for whole night.
  31. You use “contacts” (jugaad) for everything, from getting movie tickets to restaurant bookings to play-school admissions.
  32. You have had Anda parantha outside Vikram hotel and Bun Omlette at Dhaula Kuan, Kulfi at Karol Bagh, Gol Gappe at India Gate, Dosa at Madras Hotel, Chana/Kulcha at Scindia House and Chaat at UPSC.
  33. Metro rail is your Pride but you travel in your Car.
  34. You think going the mall for shopping is equivalent to walking the ramp at Milan fashion week. You break out all the labels, because when else will you use your Prada, Dior and Louis Vuitton bags?
  35. You feel indicating which way you are going to turn your vehicle is an information security leak.
  36. You are a good driver coz you are correct in your guess of what the driver in the front vehicle will do.
  37. The only time you went to the Chidiya Ghar (Zoo) was on a school picnic.
  38. You expect around 10 FM STATIONS in every city! Woho.!
  39. DESPITE all the good and bad……..You still Love Delhi…
  40. You keep singing ….. Dilli hai Dil Walon ki….. Oye Balle Balle !!!

 

Elections 2014- India’s luck about to change?

The largest Democracy in the world has successfully concluded its General Election. The results are out, and the world knows who India prefers its next leader to be. Extremist, authoritarian and flawed are just some of the lovely words often used to describe Bharatiya Janata Party’s Prime Ministerial Candidate- Narendra Modi.

With the highest voter turnout ever, in the history of the country, at 66.8% Narendra Modi’s leadership seems to have been a unanimously selected by the population. Although the reasons may vary for such a selection, we cannot help deny the fact that Mr.Modi has managed to win over the masses with his promises to plug inflation and create jobs for the struggling masses. His promises and affirmations, were relatable, real and attainable. People lavishly threw criticism his way, challenged his ways, but he stood strong and determined, just like you would expect your leader to be. In his campaign for the recent elections, Mr.Modi touched a nerve by pointing out instabilities in the government. For the middle class, these promises, offer a fresh hope, as opposed to the gloomy and dreadful cloud of a flailing economy hanging over them harbinger of all things terrible. 

As compared to other Prime Ministerial Candidates that were competing with Mr.Modi, failed to stand up and take a stand in situations where their ardent supporters most needed them to come through. From failing to respect senior and older members of the party, for disrespecting the people and their faith, its been a landslide of disappointing and unappreciative leaders. Some came with humongous fanfare, some chose to silently creep in the night.

As unbiased as I try to be, I can’t help but respect the decision the People of India have made. If 70% of the votes cast have been in support of Mr. Modi then it’s definitely worth everybody’s time to see how our country will progress under his leadership. 

Image

 

Choosing the Perfect Blog Name: Sass & Balderdash

Good read 😄

The Daily Post

From the witty to the quirky, we love great blog names, and are always happy to talk with bloggers who’ve come up with names like Paper and Salt and The Importance of Being Serbian.

Today, we’re thrilled to chat with Katie Hoffman. She’s the multitalented, supremely funny writer behind Sass & Balderdash, a blog that covers topics ranging from weight loss to pop culture, always with Katie’s signature wit. Katie also contributes to humor blog Long Awkward Pause, which we recently featured on Hot Off the Press.

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Feeling jealous?

We suffer from an incurable disease called jealousy and oddly and inexplicably, it is always attributed to women. The feeling is mutual between men & women. You’d find of course very few to none (in case of men) admit to their jealousies; petty or major. Yet, I choose not to accept that jealousy is a feminine trait and men don’t care for things like this. But then again 80% of men believe Kratos (War of God) is their best friend and that Jimmy Choo is the name of their Japanese neighbor. I think a guy would in fact consider another man’s long hair a good enough reason to make fun of, (claiming it makes him look like a woman) than admit that they are jealous of the fact that women like the long hair. Isn’t that jealousy? In its purest form?

Women, contrary to popular belief are rarely jealous. They are in fact envious. There is a clear difference between jealousy and envy. Envy is mostly derived from a sense of low self esteem that sometimes results from an upward social comparison threatening a person’s self image. The other person has something that you may consider important to have or important to raise your social position.

In proper usage, jealousy is the fear of losing something one may possess to another person (including a loved one) while envy is merely the frustration or pain of not having something that someone else has. I would say envy is mostly wistful. Both envy and jealousy are distinct emotional experiences. Even so, it is envy that is one of the seven deadly sins. 🙂

The human mind is a complex thing, and I agree with one of my friends’ when she says it is also a matter of extreme interest. How is it that some things sway some people, but at the same time others don’t really give a damn about it? How is it that to one man it may be worth the world but to another its just trash?

Somebody once told me to kill the green-eyed monster would be the biggest achievement of a man’s life. This ugly monster ruins lives. Yes, a positive, though somewhat unrealistic, approach to it would be to learn from it and understand it. Apparently jealousy is easy to overcome once you understand what it’s teaching you- did you know that? People would spend money on breast implants or plastic surgery yet they would not bother spending a tiny amount of time to treat their jealousy. I mean, once you accept it as a problem, isn’t a serious psychological situation such as jealousy worth treating, before getting body enhancements? Just goes to show how people can’t really prioritize things.

A friend of mine once sent me a text message that said, “people are wasting so much money and time on breast implants and Viagra but nobody is bothering to spend time, money and energy on Alzheimer’s. Soon women would have huge knockers and men would have huge erections but they just won’t remember what its for” 🙂

Just goes to say we are not dealing with the right problems. I don’t mean everybody but those with a serious problem at least.

Everybody has that one friend, who has bad, almost terrible taste in men and but still ends up dating the most jealous guy, in a 50 mile radius. Its like they hand pick these men! We all know how jealousy can ruin a perfectly healthy relationship. How a nice person becomes this ugly monster out to ruin himself/herself and everybody else along the way. We read it in books, see it in movies and every soap opera in the world has this angle worked into its story.

I will not deny that women don’t get jealous, but her techniques of dealing with the situation are so much subtler. Of all the crazy women situations, I have never once heard of her having a catfight merely on the basis of an assumption. Jealous or not, I do believe women have a natural tendency to give men the benefit of the doubt.

It all comes down to the fact that as a girl I would see another girl with the most beautiful pair of gold Manolo Blahnik slingbacks and I would sigh and wish I had them. Good for her!!! She has that pair but I wish I did too. A boy of course would see somebody wearing a pair of Air Jordan and would consider it a display of wealth. Aah! Men! Go figure them and then they have the audacity to say we women get jealous easily. And we are hard to handle. Really? 🙂

jealousy

Fear of being forgotten

Do u ever have that dream? The one where you are walking down a dark alley, or maybe in a forest and you hear some noise, so you start running and end up falling in a ditch. I have asked quite a few friends if they ever had this dream (or nightmare, whatever you may want to call it) and most of them said they’d had some version of this dream.

One of my friend’s told me she had this recurring dream of falling down the stairs . Not that, I’m much of a dream analyser but I am quite interested to know what this is supposed to signify.

I am sure of one thing though, that it has to do with the fear of failing, in some way. But then failure could be of any kind. Failure in love, in your career, in the way you raised your children, in your education, in your marriage, in your friendships or even something as trivial as failure to make the right choices.

But of all the people I asked, there was somebody who told me that there is a chance that you could “fail to make a mark” on somebody. Basically he feared, that he would fail to leave a good impression on anybody in his lifetime, and would be forgotten easily. It may seem funny or even ridiculous to all or some of you, but did you know, the fear of being forgotten, ignored, or abandoned is a condition called athazagoraphobia?????? Ya! It’s legit!

The fear of being forgotten exists in more people than you would expect. People constantly strive to be the centre of attention many a times, ensuring that people remember them in one way or another. It was hard for me to imagine that such a fear exists. I always thought it worked in the most simple way, if you’re good to people then people will be good to you, and that’s the people you leave a mark on. That’s the people who are gonna cry at your funeral, coz you’re not with them anymore.

Often I have found that people who are withdrawn or shy are prone to worry about whether or not they are being remembered by the people they care about. A person’s own insecurities or past experiences in which he or she has been forgotten by someone important in their lives can be a huge factor in the rise of such fears and also possessiveness in a relationship.

But I am neither withdrawn nor insecure about being forgotten. My fear is not the absence of people at my funeral. My fear is the absence of people in my life when I’m alive. My failure would be in the presence of thousands of people fake crying, fake sympathising-pretending to care when they really don’t. But my biggest failure would be the absence of friends in my lowest moment.

Unlike my friend (who has some version of athazagoraphobia) I don’t fear the fact that someday, after I die, I’ll be forgotten. Of course I will be! Everybody will move on, and I hope they will remember me fondly for something I once said or maybe a song I sang or a picture I took.

So, clinical athazagoraphobia would be fear of situations such as meeting an old mate from primary school, somebody who probably sat next to you for 2 whole years, and he’d say “I don’t know you”; or fear of a situation, where after working in an office for 10 years, when you finally quit, nobody comes outside to say goodbye to you.

The fear of being forgotten is much stronger than you can ever imagine it to be. Everybody wants to be a celebrity- they want the money, the fame and so on. What is fame? Your popularity? Your ‘stardom’? Your mark on the world? Your way to make sure in the history of the world, your name is bold, italicised and underlined? Is it athazagoraphobia???

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